Welcome to Dysfunctional Legends, where emotional availability goes to die, and sarcasm goes to thrive.

We’re not here to sell you “good vibes only” nonsense. We’re here for the dark humorists, the misfits, the ones who laugh at the wrong part of the movie and call it personality.

Our merch? Retro-punk attitude with a twist of “don’t text me back.” Hoodies, tees, and designs that say what you’re thinking, so you don’t have to.

We don’t chase trends, we chase eye-rolls, smirks, and maybe a free therapist session if the NHS ever calls us back.

And because one bad decision is never enough, we keep dropping more design + colour combinations so you can truly customize your dysfunction.

So if you’re looking for sunshine and rainbows, you took a wrong turn. If you’re looking for unapologetically sarcastic gear that screams “I care, but only ironically”, welcome home.